Tag: grief

To Grieving Fathers on Father’s Day

Whether you began here or here, your goal was this and eventually this. But something went terribly wrong. So you’ve spent more time here and here than you planned. When they call to ask about her, you tell them. When they neglect to ask about you, you think, It’s okay. I’m okay. And when they say things like: “God has…

Dear Uterus: You Are a Murderous Bastard

In my head, murderous bastard just isn’t right. I mean, certainly there are more eloquent ways to express my hatred of your serial killing, your incompetence when nurturing a fertilized ovum, and your obvious disdain for human life. But nothing comes, so murderous bastard it is. In days past, I looked down at women who were in the place I…

An Open Letter About Time

Dearest Reader, I received a call four days ago. It was one of those calls; the kind that even the phone knows is bad. I was told my father couldn’t speak or move. He had been found that way. “The ambulance is on its way,” she said. “We’ll call once we have more information.” In the car, I looked through…

The curse of looking happy

You’ve heard it before, “Well, [insert appropriate subject pronoun here] look(s) happy”. And so they are pronounced as such.  We go about our way.  They often go home and cry.  We too easily forget that smiles are often a coaxed response of self, not Soul.  In that way, they don’t equate to happiness that exists; oftentimes, they equate to happiness…

Healing, like grief, comes in waves

I have avoided Orlando for four years. In my most honest places, that is what’s whispered to me as we pull in and see a small figure waiting for us in the doorway: that of my 94-year-old grandmother, Catherine. She is smaller than I remember, frailer too, but she still gives the best hugs: the kind where her hands run…

Shooting wooden stars

On a recent trip to Canada, I heard a startling fact on public radio: 349 American service members committed suicide in 2012 (to put that in perspective, that’s 54 more than were killed in Afghanistan that same year). I was shocked. disheartened. and ashamed. The broadcast went on to share the story of a 31-year-old Marine.  He’d been in Afghanistan. …