The Secret Keepers

My friend and recovering Secret Keeper, Karen Perry, has written a heartrending account of childhood sexual abuse and its tentacles of secrecy and shame. My comment to her post was this:

“Thank you for this…and for declaring: You’re not alone and you don’t have to be a secret keeper anymore.

I decided, just yesterday, that I will finally be writing a piece about my rape. I have never done so, but was asked to submit to another site and that is what’s been heavy on heart and soul. I’ve been so scared, for so long, to let my hands write out the words of acts done to me. I’ve been so scared to let myself sit in that truth and yet know…that I am a survivor. That I have worth. And that those soul-searing thrusts didn’t make me less, they made him less.

Thank you for your courage, Karen, and for helping me find my own.”

I never ask, but please share this, dear reader.  It’s important that we are Secret Keepers no more.  It’s important to those who suffer(ed) abuse (and for those who love them) to not only survive…but to thrive.

With heart, healing and hope,

It’s Nature Karen


I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to ask you to share this post. Reblog it, share it on Facebook, tweet it. Someone out there needs to hear this message today. Even if you think you don’t know anyone who has been abused. Even if you don’t read the entire post.

About a month ago I was asked by Dawn at WTF words, thoughts, feelings to contribute an essay for an anthology that she and Joyelle are creating for parents who are survivors of childhood sexual and physical abuse (learn more at

I submitted my essay but I also want to shine a bigger spotlight on this project because I fear that they may not get many submissions. Not because it’s not a worthy cause or because there aren’t enough people out there to contribute but because survivors of abuse are secret…

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  One thought on “The Secret Keepers

  1. November 14, 2014 at 10:35 am

    Blessings on you, Dani, to help heal your wounds and for being brave enough to join this important blogger initiative. I have responded on other participating blogs so won’t repeat here. Be Brave; we are resilient beings; we can recover and we can prevent future abuses by helping each other.

    • November 22, 2014 at 5:48 pm

      Sammy, thank you for lending your voice and heart to this space and initiative. I suppose this goes deeper for you, as well, and for that I am truly sorry.


      Your sister in trauma and triumph,

  2. November 14, 2014 at 10:42 am

    Look past the black squiggles on this screen, into that place, and hear my comments there.

    Courage. You have…you are…She will.

    • November 22, 2014 at 5:49 pm

      I heard them and hear them still.

      With gratitude that goes beyond…

      ❤ Dani

  3. November 14, 2014 at 11:51 am

    Sending you love and blessings, Dani.
    It’s no wonder that you and Karen have such a deep and special place in my heart.

    • November 22, 2014 at 5:50 pm

      Thank you, Michelle.

      A million Thank You’s.


  4. Elizabeth S.
    November 14, 2014 at 8:58 pm

    Thank you for your boldness Danielle! May God continue to bless, encourage, and comfort you as you bring to light the dark places. I HATE how much of this happens and am so sorry to hear that you are a victim of such a horrendous act. You are beautiful inside and out!! ❤

    • November 22, 2014 at 5:52 pm

      Elizabeth, thank you so much for your kind words. I hate that it happened too, but I hope, by speaking up and out, that it will happen less and less.

      In sisterhood and advocacy,

  5. November 14, 2014 at 10:14 pm

    Thank you for sharing this, Dani. I too have been a secret keeper for far too long. I’m not sure if I’m ready to explore that dark side of me yet, but I did find Mending Musings words to be very encouraging. Thanks again, and good luck to you.

    • November 22, 2014 at 5:54 pm

      It is certainly a scary and vulnerable place to be, Danie. I will keep you in my thoughts as you process and decide what’s best for your heart and soul.

      Here if you need.

      Truth wins,

  6. Kris Hall
    November 16, 2014 at 1:02 pm

    Dani, thank you for your comments and for sharing this blog. I know that many people can benefit from the breaking of the silence and sharing experiences that have caused feelings of shame, fear, and isolation. I believe that it is really important for those who have fallen prey to abuse to know that they are not alone, and that they are not to blame for what they endured.
    I am proud of you for the desire to speak your truth in an effort to move forward and grow, and to be a voice of comfort and assurance to others who have shared similar painful situations.
    You are an amazing woman, and I am grateful for your friendship!

    • November 22, 2014 at 5:56 pm

      You are so loved, Kris!! Thank you for your continued support. I know that Here is not always an easy place to be, but I thank you for choosing to be Here…with me.

      With heart,

  7. November 17, 2014 at 10:47 pm

    Love to you Dani. You are so brave and your immense worth cannot be measured! Prayers for your continued healing.

    • November 22, 2014 at 5:58 pm

      Thank you for reaching out. It means much more than you’ll ever know.

      With heart, hope and healing,

  8. January 7, 2015 at 1:01 am

    Thank you for sharing this, Dani.

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